Let me tell you what - if you haven’t pulled apart 5 gallon buckets that are stuck together- then you won’t get it ... but if you have. This post might just hit home!
The struggle between being a good momma and not yelling. The struggle between loving your husband and not finding every fault he has and calling him out on it. The struggle with finding time to clean the house but yet can’t wait to muck stalls. The struggle in loving your own self after hitting a brick wall through the day and becoming a ragging dragon. The struggle with finding peace in the craziness of this world.
The struggle is real. For everyone right now. Like a stuck five gallon bucket struggle. It’s hard. We all are wearing this craziness a little louder than it once was. The times we live in right now is knee deep in cow poop without having your mucks on!
I often times find myself craving 10 minutes of a lone time. My escape has always been the barn. When I was growing up to now as an adult. But when I come down to the barn of late - it’s not bringing the peace it once did. It has began to fuel the fire and not in a rekindled kind of soul searching like it use too.
It’s brought me to the point of being darn right ticked off. And wanna know something?!? It’s ME doing the ticking off. ME getting frustrated at my own self. This mornings struggle of not finding my other 2 buckets that Jas had used (yea. I was there. I fed the calves too!) and not put back. Ticked me off. The struggle is there. The Devil is HERE. And if anything. He wants to steal that joy from the get go. And for the last month. I’ve let him win. Every stinking day.
Today has been no different- I wake up. Annoyed the sun won’t come across the field til almost 630. I can’t walk in the dark... the heck if I can’t! God says “go”...
The Barn hasn’t been “horsey” for the last several months. I can’t ride in the dark - outside. Heck if I can’t. Today is a New Day. We all have struggles. We all have breakdowns. Some show it worse than others. Some spend money they don’t have. Some drink it away. Or try to escape the pain with laughter. For me. It’s the Barn. It’s flying across a field with Shi. Letting go of all the “struggle”. Something I’ve failed to do for the better part of the whole last year. Finding “excuses” to why I’m not getting to ride that much.
Todays struggle with the buckets reminded me to breath. Reevaluate the whole problem and find a different solution. Turning my face to the arising sun. Searching Gods word. And simply reminding myself. “YOU CAN!”
Don’t let a five gallon Devil ruin your day. because it will if you allow it 🙃