Marriage is hard. It only gets harder as the years press on. New Babies, new careers, tough times, trials and errors... Marriage is more than the fancy weeding cake that actually tastes quite awful after sitting in the bottom of your deep freeze for a year. Yet like tradition goes.. we eat it anyway & post about it on social media.
The other day I talked about not being perfect and learning to come to terms with that. I make mistakes.. some bigger than others. I let those replay in my mind.. and sometimes they consume me. But when writing that post- it also reminded me that I have to maybe do more inside my marriage. It goes deeper than laundry and cooking their favorite meals here and there. We become comfortable in the normal routine we create over time; that we tend to use the original spark that was what you first drew to love them on. I am not anything special by no means - I personally can't hand out "therapy advice" as I am in a "relearning" season of my own. But I do know, I need to do more "Kitchen Dancing" and less nagging about things that will eventually get done... even if that is not on MY time frame.
I caught myself saying "I am only one woman" to Jason that I often forget. He's only one man. And neither of us can do it all by ourselves. I can't expect hum to get all the tractors fixed, deliver hay, check cattle AND get my ponies trimmed all at the same time. Just as he can't expect me to clean house while I am helping him move cattle or bale hay..
Marriage is a true partnership.. one of late I'd taken granted for. Again.. I'm not perfect.. It takes work.. more work than I've put in. When we fail to work at it & per say "maintenance" it - that's when things might fall apart. We maintain all the farm equipment each spring, and we grease everything prior to using it ( I am always in trouble for missing a grease insert or two.. ) But I'm learning.. before this summer it wasn't exactly "MY" job to have it ready... I typically just climbed in when they got things going and I took off til I was told to stop for the day. I don't get that easy side of things anymore.. I realized that I am guilty and probably worse than he is about taking the extra attention it takes to being a good wife. I've failed numerous times. But each time I've hit my knees, and am learning from those moments. It's not about being Perfect ... It's about Loving that Person just as you did in the early months of the relationship. It is NOT easy.. but I keep praying and learning along the way. And I am thankful for people who help to remind me, keep me in check, that love does exist even when we do screw up..
so turn on some country music & learn to do a little more two-steppin in the kitchen like you did on your wedding day!
Have a Blessed Day!