Hello! New year new day— start of something new

January 3, 2018

Hello!!!! So this is going to be a trial and error thing as we learn to go right now because Im taking my notes from when I was talk/ texting through the car as I drove home from the office today so please bear with me as I go through today’s blog thoughts …. it’s January 3 two days into the new year – 2018 and I have High-hope‘s for this year like I have my goals lined out I have started making and clearing away the clutter at home I just I want to do better this year and it’s taking me a long time to see what is really important and what is and what isn’t – I shouldn’t be worried about and what I’m just over stressing over causing bigger problems in the long run but if I just was like OK you- it happened. So to be done with it go on I’m not one of those people that tend to brush off I let it fester and I let it fester for months on end – something that happened five years ago probably will still bother me but I’ve got a new frame of mind I want to pray every day I want to have God for filling my life I want him there not just when I need something not just when something is wrong that when I’m just hit it went hit my it’s wind I want him there every day my second goal is been more for my husband that is really a hard problem for me because I expect so much out of him. like I expect him to be home with us during the winter and that’s not the way it works for a farmer. I am pretty much on my own & single parent for a good 9 months out of the year & we’re doing OK that’s OK! that’s his job and he loves it and I’m thankful for that but I’m a single-parent or less when he’s in the field and I know all you farm mommas.. actually I know all those wives that have husbands overseas or spouses anybody that goes through a relationship where they don’t have their significant other to help with the kids with the housework with chores is a struggle and to find that balance was a struggle for us. We are going on our fourth year of marriage and it’s taken me this long to figure it out but I can expect things that he’s not willing to give – he’s not going to change so it’s either me changing or me learning to adapt. so this year is all about adopting I am going to praise him every day or try to at least not yell as much same with the kids I want to be more “mom”. I want to find that balance of being a full-time working mom doing what I still love to do which is the horses which is helping Jason with having a life outside of being you know the busy working mom helping Jason I need to balance that – so it’s taking time for them. Not just mommy saying no no no. The dishes will wait and at the laundry what’s the get folded and if not tomorrow it will happen. I am going to be more mom to Keaton and Jalen that was number three on my Goals. So there for number four a huge one that’s always on the top of any NYE list- health and fitness. I competed last year and my first ever NANBF bikini competition at in liberty in April. that was a huge thing for me. I am not comfortable in my skin; I never have been. I’ve never been one of those girls I thought she was beautiful I still don’t think that needless to say what people say about me. my self-esteem is low it always has been I did that competition and it was the best thing for my confidence but also the worst and I will go into that in another post. because that was a time I loved myself but I wasn’t ready for the let down of all this hard work to not win a medal – I wasn’t ready for the problems i caused in my marriage & the strain it had with my friendships. I was obsessed with eating my macros I was OBSESSED with going to the gym if I missed the gym I got so down and stressed out because I missed that one day and all that for me to walk on stage in a red bikini and heels and not fall down. that’s monumental. So this year for me its finding the balance without actually being competitive I’m still learning to eat right for my body learning to go to the gym wait feels good working out home with the kids and then this also leads up to number five which is competing barrel racing horses. During college I rode western pleasure which is completely different style than barrel racing. It has taken me two years to train my little white mare that had been just a pet, pasture random trail horse that she didn’t have a job a.k.a. the broodmare that my husband calls her. Furthermore Jason spoiled me this year for my birthday getting me a new colt, LNCDRChocolateLeo. Leo will be brought up a ton but I will make a whole Nother post because I’m doing all his training myself and he’s phenomenal and he’ll be two in April. Next one is getting back to my community. I want to do more donating whether it be just purging off our clothes and things that we don’t need at home to people that need them or giving my time back with at school where the kids go. I’m just giving back. My last one is a new one I honestly just added on this morning. I want to get my oils free so thats me stepping out of my comfort zone & sharing the knowledge of Essential Oils with others. My EO story – which is another post for another time but I am in love with the Young living Essential Oils. The real difference for our daughter Jaelyn who is was in and out of the hospital for the past years and she just turned two in September so she’s pretty young. She’s had a lot of respiratory issues and we finally have made a breakthrough there’s no more seizures & we finally have control over her respiratory. But in hindsight I’m 28 but sometimes it feels like I’m 21 and sometimes it feels like past 50!

With that being said – I welcome you to this spot – I am SO excited & I can’t wait to share with you because you’re gonna be blown away!!!! I am not just the mom and I’m not just a Farmer’s wife and I’m not just a fitness addict – I can’t wait for you to sneak peek into that life hope you have a blessed night I am getting ready to quickly do chores and swap around kiddos with Jason so that I can I go to Bible study tonight!

I hope you have a blessed evening & sincerely “Thank You” if you stuck with me through this first rambling ♥️

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