As I start to really reflect on how 2019 went; I can't and should NOT complain one bit. Its been an amazing journey and adventure. It's defiantly had its laughs, as well as some pretty low parts. I've realized how blessed I truly am. Not too many thirty year olds can "semi" retire from finance & get to play with cows and drive tractors for fun like I am .. The new career change of being Jason's literal right hand man to watching calves be born only to loose them a few days later to being able to spend more time in general with the kids. Has been an eye opener to my patience tolerance. Shiloh and I ran half the summer between baling hay and it really showed. She won me a Finals Average Buckle with MGRA association. Hauling and riding my 3 year old colt at the cattle farm to the Fancy Christmas Ladies (the ShowMe Select Heifers). When I stop to think about what could of changed & been done differently I am thankful for what 2019 has taught me. Even through the hardships.
When I started this post out earlier this week.. (I actually hand wrote it about 2.5 weeks ago... but I can't seem to place that paper now - GO Figure right?!) I had all these intentions of sharing with you guys what 2020 was going to bring to the table... the Goals I had set.. the Plans I wanna do.. the Places I want to see... But in reality... I can't really justify putting all that out there.. because not every day is Granted. God has a path for us.. He certainly has one for me.. even when I fall off the side of the cliff.. and get lost.. Maybe it takes us getting a little lost in the woods on your three year old colt to truly understand the meaning by "Giving it to God". I put a whole lot of faith in Leo... he's yet to buck me off -- rarely even attempts to be a jerk unless provoked - and even then...riding Lena (Carol's mare over the last few years) taught me... how to keep my butt planted firmly in the seat.
In 2020... my oldest will turn 10... TEN YEARS old.. how did this happen!? I've let so many little things cloud my biggest joy... 2020.. it's a whole new decade.. kind of scary if you think about it.. I am thirty. When thirty used to seem so *old*.. I'm not old.. although after yesterday's fall from the back of a truck to helping Farmer rearrange the chute gates in the cattle barn... I'm feeling those muscles just a little more this morning while I was putting dishes away. The little things start to shine a little more.. Time with family - Time doing what you love - sharing what your most passionate about..
And in those last few words.... that's what I'm working on throughout 2020.. being a better momma & wife - learning a little more patience & mostly.. working on my OWN listening skills. One of the reasons I stopped working full time was because I was missing out on so much here.. 60+ hours spent away was starting to eat at me.. and now I take for granted seeing them daily. I get a little selfish. I know they aren't always gunna wanna hang with ol' momma for too much longer -- Keaton's already picking Jas over me most days any who..
Sharing my Story ... Because depression is real.. Anxiety Sucks.. Losing yourself in a mental black hole.. is hard.. And so often overlooked until its too late. This fall I was hit with a frying pan of truth - And I thank and pray for that person daily -- she might not know it.. but she gave me a wake up call I desperately needed. God puts people in your life & takes them out.. when you need them the most.. This life is not just a bunch of rainbows.. it's a lot of hard work.. and I hope by sharing what's going on inside me, with the kids, as a momma - wife ... relearning WHO I am, my walk with Jesus ,. rebuilding my own Faith -- showing you the farm life - and especially how having the horses have helped me over come so much..that Most never even see..
The whole world of social media is at our fingertips nearly every second of the day.. with the blog, podcasts and now me trying out the world of YouTube(sorry for the daily drop of cows but I'm learning the editing process - and honesty just trying to find a better way of doing it... so until I get the kinks worked out ... just join along for the ride!) I want to get more consistent.. Picking certain days to drop things.. how often does one even pay attention --> that's where YOU guys come,. do you like seeing more Videos of what's happening around the farm.. or would you rather just catch up on the Blog.. winter is more the same ol' same ol each day... Morning Chores - helping Jason do whatever - delivering hay .. then its evening chores and dinner / family time in the evenings.. but come April things will get real busy and hopefully a little more exciting as we start getting in the fields.
2020 .. Published Goals for the #HayGirl .. y'all get to see it first..
Family... Patience - Love & Understanding
Building back my Faith.. yep you'll get to see some of that probably in the blog and podcasts the most.. I have a new 52 week bible study that I am doing on my own.. along with a small project
Share My Story.. will have it's own space.. and it will range in topics..
FarmLife - Enough Said right??? Each week I'd like to share & post 2 YouTube Videos - 2 Podcasts - a Weekly "Chore Report" newsletter and of course.. all the blogs that I can get from my crazy brain to draft mode.
And there's some other goals in there too. more personal ones.. that yes I am sure.. if you join in .. will be a part of .. but there's no real need to broadcast them yet.. God's still working -
Don't be afraid to start over... This time you're not starting from Scratch... You're starting from Experience.
Happy New Year ... and bring on 2020!