There are times my Heart is on Fire 🔥 for so many reasons ... today’s no different.
The Good Lord speaks in crazy ways. and for me. It’s ALWAYS in the horse barn.... when I’m muckin out stalls.
It never fails. I’ll have a heavy heart when I show up down here. Spend a few hours cleanin the barn & my soul out. Crying. Yelling. And not exactly understanding the why behind it.
God is Good & I am thankful more so than ever for today’s “Soul Cleansin” that I so desperately needed. Without this Barn ... I’m not sure the last seven years would be the same.
This barn was where I fell in love with Jas. This barn is where we branded ourselves together at our wedding (when people kept saying we was rushing. WHOLE not Blog I’m sure. So just sit tight!) This barn is where I found my ass on the ground in frustration with several horses. This SPACE that I come to find peace. Has held so many angry moments. It’s where we found out about Jaelyn ... but it’s also where I’ve lost babies at.
It’s where we’ve taught the kids to ride & rope. It’s where old things meet new adventures. This barn is more than four walls and some beams for me. It helps to hold me together. Just like the Roof.
It never seems to be “clean” for its true purpose of Horses but now I’m beginning to see ... its so much more. Than just a Simple Horse Barn.
And when you see that. Your heart finds a new fire. A new passion. A new reason. And for that I am thankful to be one of Gods Warriors when many times. I’ve fought against it. I fought to be the Light he sat me down here for. I fought trying to understand my purpose - for so long.
My heart bled out this AM. Hit my knees with tears. Again. For I honestly have no clue how many times now. God’s got a purpose for each and every one of us. If we just would open our hearts & minds up. Sit quietly and listen ... without an opinion. Without a response. Without understanding the why behind it. But to simple open ourselves up. For His Greater Purpose.
I am finally starting to see mine. I have went through heart ache. I’ve broken trusts. I’ve made mistakes. For a reason ... never understanding why. But my story is here - and it’s HERE to stay. It’s Here to help someone else. Regardless if it’s Cattle - Farming - Kids - Family - Tractors - Crazy Horses - My story is important... and you can keep finding, following & sharing it along with me 💛
Today’s got a lot of purpose.... it’s my in-laws Anniversary. And for today. Today. I am thankful for more reasons than I can put into words. Because from that. I have Jason....
You can catch the PodCast. That joins along with this blog later today .. and there is a Video Clip. I might attach here. Just because it is VERY raw. It’s Very “inside” my heart and soul today. Not something I always post about ..