Chronicles of a Farmers Wife … love ever after

Growing up you dream of being sweeped away by your Prince Charming and living happily ever after. Disney has us all fooled & shows us that vary dream the best. The princess is down and there comes a handsome prince to save her day. But in the grown up world it’s nothing like that. At first it seems as if all the magic is alive around you. You’re madly in love with your other half. They can do no wrong. You want to spend all your time with them. But then the real world happens. What Disney doesn’t show you.

They don’t show you the arguments, the kids, the extended families, Jobs, moving houses. They show you the happy perks of being new and in love. I know I’ve hit it on before. Where you can still love someone but not necessarily still be in love too. It’s a very hard line to balance. Maintaining the love you first felt for that person. Finding the sparks of why you let yourself fall for them in the first place. I’ve read many books and there’s different stages of love and marriage. It’s why you see more HS sweethearts splitting up after 10 years of togetherness. Or the ones in their 40s who are walking away from each other after their kids are no longer home. As women we tend to blame that on ourselves. We aren’t giving enough. We aren’t spending enough time with them. On them. I know at the end of the day, farm boy is the last on my list. When behind God he should be above everything else. So how do we find prioritize our spouses when it’s a constant reminder that the house needs cleaned after the kids wreck it for the 5th time that day, how do we still make them feel special while cleaning up dishes? I wish I had that answer… it certainly would make me feel a little better if I did. A friend reminded me earlier this week about making sure I place things as the Bible states. God first – Spouse Second – Kids Third and everything & everyone else can happen after.

When date nights are far & few in between when married to a farm boy how do you find that quality time together? The only time we typically go out to eat anymore is when we have the kids in tow. Now that it’s winter I kept thinking we’d have more time together. Wrong. He works just as much now as he does during the summer months. I hardly see him except a few hours at night. When I’m cooking, doing dishes, trying to get caught up after being gone all day. Where do we find the balance?

Unless you were raised by a farmer or been with one you won’t know the meaning of “bring me food” secretly means “date in the field”. During the summer those are the only dates we get. And half the time we aren’t even eating in the same tractor. It’s a few sentences and off we go. Marriage is HARD. Life is hard. Love is harder yet. But it’s all the in between moments that spark the fire and keep it going when words aren’t there & time isn’t easy to come by.

He often asks why I love him and majority of the time I give the same answer. I thought more on that. The more I played it in my mind I was answering why I fell in love with him but not why I love him now. That was hard for me to handle. It’s made me really stop and sit down and think about love and marriage as a whole. Nether of us are the same people we met 5 years ago. Crazy to think it’s been that long already. Seems like yesterday it was that first whirl wind of hay field kisses.

So here I am to tell you – no relationship is easy, but if you’re willing to make it work, it will. Because I don’t think there ever is a right time “to break up”. If that person truly means something to you; wouldn’t you fight to keep them. Not fight to push them further away? No one said it would be easy – in fact what Disney forgot was how hard it really is after the sparks fly & fizzle out. Two of my favorite movies are Sweet Home Alabama and The Notebook. Both show that love is hard & sometimes it takes walking away from a fight or situation to realize just how much that person truly means to you.

Fight for them. Fight for your relationship. Do not let something or someone come between what God brought together. “be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves” -Romans 12:10.

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