It’s crazy to me how something so little as a few words of a song or something someone has mentioned can form a whole heck of a lot of ramblings inside my head that spreads into these blogs. I’ve been trying to work on my “negative attitude”. Choosing to see the joy and happiness in majority of the situations instead of always seeing what I’m lacking. It’s very hard to accomplish. I see all the things I neglected to get done. Such as the laundry sitting on the couch unfolded. It made it through the washer & dryer in the same day – Hallelujah!! But it didn’t make it to the folding and putting away stage. So then I’m laying awake at 3am thinking about all the crap I didn’t get done in a day. Or how I could of handled the situation better. Which then makes me feel guilty about missing out on something with the kids and especially Jason. And when that guilt starts eating at me – the Devils winning – making me a bitter mother and even more so as a wife.
That’s the way the devil works. He comes sneaking in at little times. If he’s attacking you the Lords been 4 steps ahead of him working on you. God knows what he’s doing – we must have that Faith Fueled Fire to keep pushing past. I had that realizedmoment Sunday at church. It was a few words Pastor Jason had mentioned and a few songs that we sang that just about brought me down to my knees if it hadn’t of been two kids holding my hands. Tears were hitting sis’ Bitty Baby. A moment of realization that all the little things that eat me alive during the middle of the night mean nothing. That is the Devils way of trying to steal my joy at my weakest moment.
Last night was one of those nights I allowed it to happen. I got caught up in the negative. I sat down and had even sent off a message to a dear friend saying “I can’t be a Job”. Job was attacked at every angle possible by Satan. And God allowed it to happen. As long as Satan didn’t kill Job. Because Job remained faithful to God. He knew God was there. I know God’s there. Yet I failed to keep that peace and patience. And that’s my study word this week PATIENCE. And it’s only Tuesday.
How do we combat that negative energy. How do we find something to fill that void and make us happy? For me it’s my horses & barn. It’s where my go to spot. I can ramble all I want and no one back talk me. Yes. They may be temperamental at times. But they’ve always caught my tears and yes. Sometimes Anger. You have to fine an outlet and use that outlet to better yourself not just for you but the people around you.
It used to be me going to the gym and lifting and throwing around a bunch of weight to break the stress apart. But the last several months my heart just hasn’t been in it to go. So I stopped. Literally. And I couldn’t figure out why the stress levels were back. My diets awful. I had no real outlet. I became a bitter angry person. I tried to blame it on the lack of sleep, the lack of the kids listening, the craziness at work & a lot on Jason’s shoulders because as a farmer; He’s hardly here to help. But when he is. Lord have mercy on anything in his path.
When Negativity is a part of your daily life you spread it like a nasty virus. In today’s world we have got to stop hanging our heads and passing that darkness on like a sick kid with a stomach bug at daycare. Why are we teaching kids to accept it as the new “norm”? What happened to the dirty smiles of kids who played in the dirt for 4 hours and came back covered in mud from mixing pies with their hands??
We have to learn how to find those inner joys and spread it like wild fire — faith fueled WILD fires! We have to build ourselves up to be able to help build others up. Or our foundations going to crack with the first rain storm. For me it was simple. And something I should of realized along time ago. – By riding and working with my horses, I started to see the beauty in again in my world and I slowly have been coming back to life. And that’s, well, that’s basically the beginning to really living again…. finding something so small to give yourself joy that will help spread the fire to others.
I’ve got a neighbor girl that now shares that same passion as my own two kids. Keaton had called last night asking to ride. Even though the round pen had been flooded and his pony soaked. He still asked if we could ride. For once. I told him no. But by darn if I tell him “no” tonight.
Share those moments. Share those joyous occasion. Spread your wild fire no matter what direction it takes. And if that doesn’t help. Throw some Hope & Joy into a diffuser 😘 because there’s an oil for that!
Have a blessed day folks!
Bible Study Verses to help find Joy: